Outcome Alternatives™
An online education program focused on helping people learn alternative thinking and behavior which helps prevent future justice system involvement.
Since 1983
Temper Talk™ - Online anger management classes.
Temper Talk™ is an online anger management class offered as an 8, 10 or 12 hour anger education class. And, we have a Court Acceptance Guarantee! 
"THEFT TALK"™ - Online theft / shoplifting classes.
Theft Talk™ is an online theft / shoplifting classes and is offered for juveniles as a 4 or 8 hour class and four adults as an 8 hour class. And, we have a Court Acceptance Guarantee!
The Alcohol Class - Online MIP Alcohol Class
The Alcohol Class is an online class for youths who were cited for being a minor in possession of alcohl (MIP). This is not an alcohol treatment program, it is an alcohol education and awareness program. This is a four hour online class.
Your class is completely self-paced, sign out and come back later, the computer will take you back to where you ended. That's right, work on it a half hour at a time, more sometimes, less others - you choose.
The Psychology of Anger
The anger management class you are about to take is based on the book, The Psychology of Anger
by Steven M. Houseworth, MA. Following is the book outline.
Chapter 1: Introductions
Chapter 2: About Anger
Chapter 3: Anger Myths
Chapter 4: About Anger Emotion
Chapter 5: About Angering Behavior
Chapter 6: Mental Rehearsing Anger
Chapter 7: Anger Strategy
Chapter 8: Anger Techniques
Chapter 9: The Answer
Anger Management Class Final Exam
Objectives
1) Introduce the purpose of the entire anger management class.
2) To make it clear that there is real hope for angry people
3) To introduce key elements of behavior change
4) To outline the expectations of the anger management class
I've suffered from anger for a lot of years but I just thought that's how I am - I didn't really realize that I had an anger problem. One of the things I came to realize was that it was almost like I don't want to change. Like I don't want to get rid of my anger because I would lose a sense of who I am - it was such a big part of me and how I expressed myself.
~Unknown
Introduction:
Let me start by saying how excited I am to be presenting this anger management class. My name is Steve and I've been working with, researching and studying anger, tempers, explosive, violent and assaultive behavior for just about 25 years. Let me say that I am very well aware that you may not "need" this class. If this is the case, I apologize. I suggest you use your time well, try to gain "something" from it and meet your obligation to the person who referred you. Please be aware that I had to write this class as if you really did need and/or want it.
In all seriousness this anger management class is NOT intended, or adequate, for people who are repeated serious physical offenders; people who enjoy being violent or assaultive; seriously mentally ill, (i.e., psychotic), brain damaged, are unable to grasp or learn new ideas; or have an anti-social personality disorder. Further, if your anger, violence and/or assaultive behaviors are impacted by drug or alcohol use, you will need to address that problem in your life too. This anger management class has much more hope of being meaningful and helpful if those issues are not active in your life.
That said, let me try to get into your head for a moment. I suspect you have little to no interest in taking this stupid class. You likely view it as a waste of your time and expect it to be a "bunch of crap" - you don't need a stupid anger management class anyway. How am I doing? You probably expect to learn nothing and have little to no hope for any helpful or constructive outcome. The only reason you are enrolled is because "someone" is making you take an anger class. Your goal is to get "this thing" over with as fast as possible. You are hoping you can either skim the pages or jump to the tests and successfully pass without having to do the reading.
Nothing is easy to the unwilling.
~Thomas Fuller
The likelihood is that if you are taking this class, someone in your life (most often a probation officer, judge, school, coach or employer) is either offering a consequence for something you did or declaring that you have to do something about your anger, outbursts and rage. The basic idea is that they are ready for you to change so, now you have to be ready too. We all know that no one can get you ready for change but, they have to at least say they tried.
Ya know what? In spite of all of that skepticism and lack of motivation, . I AM still excited about presenting this class!
The people who hired me have very high expectations of me and this class. They hunted me down trying to hire an "expert" so they could be sure they got the best product possible. They want me to have a serious impact on everyone who takes this class. Well . let me tell you .. these people are being very unrealistic. In fact, they are working under the very false assumptions that one person can impose change on another person. I do not maintain that belief! I can not make you believe anything and I can not make you change your behavior. I can present good (or even great) information, but you choose if it makes sense to you or not. You make the choice to use and apply it or not. Yes, if you are not interested you can still learn and change, but my point is that you are in control of what you get out of this class. I can present the best "stuff", but, even then it will be meaningless unless you give it a shot.
What do we try to do? Well . . . the easy answer is that, though we don't try to insist that you believe us, we do ask that you take the time to try and "understand" us. We operate with the assumption that it is our job to help you understand and that it is solely your job to decide if you believe what you learned. We ask that you look at the information we present, assess that information and decide - in your own mind - if it is true.
If you understand our points and conclude that this information is hog wash - that is okay with us, you are free to do so.
A more specific answer to this "What do we try to do?" question is that much of what we discuss in the following chapters is intended to focus on your thinking. It is our firm belief that thinking precedes behavior. Thinking guides behavior. (Don't argue with us yet. Read first.) As you will learn in these chapters - be careful what you think . . . it becomes your character.
It might help if you think about the chapters you are about to complete as if you were putting a puzzle together. Each piece builds upon the other. As the pieces are put together, the picture becomes more clear. Trust me, we try hard not to waste your time. Everything we include is a piece of the puzzle.
Okay, so here's the deal. I want to ask you to give me a chance. Frankly, each chapter is full of key points. I am excited because I know the research. I have much more information to give than you likely ever want to hear. Heck, I can tell you about rat studies, ape studies, college student studies, prison inmate studies and on and on.
As a result of my research, I know what works, I know what doesn't. I know the wacky cultural myths about what people believes drive anger. I KNOW people can learn to deal with their anger differently. I KNOW people can put their anger problems behind them. I KNOW your life will be better if you learn ways to prevent anger, learn adaptive solutions to deal with anger, and develop responses which minimize anger.
So, what does "give me a chance" mean? It means that even if you are disinterested in taking this class, try not to waste your time . . . try to learn at least one (1) new and meaningful piece of information from each chapter. One is fine with me. In exchange, I will pack the most powerful, meaningful research based material into each chapter. In other words it should not be too difficult for you to find one meaningful piece of information in each chapter. I cannot force you to believe any of the points being made in this class. I can only hope that you take the time to "understand" them - there is a difference. If you at least understand the key points . . . you did your job!
Beliefs:
Aside from your probable lack of interest, my next barrier has to do with the beliefs you may maintain about anger. Most people maintain at least a few false beliefs (myths) about what causes anger and how to deal with it. These false beliefs pass from person to person and generation to generation. Interestingly it takes about 20 years for better and more accurate information to ooze itself into our culture - into our thinking and beliefs. You too very likely maintain false beliefs about anger.
So, not only do I need to introduce you to new information about anger, but I also need to try to get you to challenge your present beliefs. It is very likely that your present beliefs are getting in the way of you dealing with anger in a more constructive way. One thing we know for sure is that people act on their beliefs whether they are true, accurate, and valid or not. Are you strong enough to challenge your own beliefs?
Skills:
If you step back for a moment and look at anger from a distance you will see that some people have learned effective and healthy ways to deal with anger and other people have learned less healthy ways to deal with anger. The difference between these people has everything to do with the options they know about and the skills they have developed over time. For example, if one person learns that "rage" gets people to "back off", then that person may use rage over and over again because it seemed to work so quickly. Yet, another person who uses "rage" may learn that people back off and "unfriend" you. This person may have learned that "rage" doesn't work so well because he wants people to like him. Did you know that people who have anger management problems typically only know one way to deal with anger - they don't know options? They simply do not know other ways, or have other skills, to deal with anger! Lack of social problem-solving skills directly relates to people who have anger related problems.
Recently I met with a teenage girl, Haley, who came to me and expressed concern that she is experiencing extreme rage at her younger brother (younger by two years). She told me of stress and tension like she has never experienced before. She described feelings and behaviors that made it very clear she had genuine anger toward her brother. She broke down crying and said, "I went up to him and I started choking him and I couldn't stop." Feeling helpless she said, "I can't stop. I can't help myself!"
Wow! How cool that Haley could talk about it. How strong she was to ask for help. How heartbreaking that she felt so helpless and powerless! Haley and I spent a lot of time talking. I introduced her to options, techniques and the notion that she is in control and that she is making choices. She did good. She did really well! She "got it". I told Haley that she will not be able to change unless and until she "believes" that she is in control. I absolutely loved her response. Haley replied, "Okay . I understand but . I don't know how."
Haley did all the right things. She talked, she shared her concerns and fears and she was open to learning new information. She learned. But, most of all she knew that she didn't know how . . . she didn't know what to do. It is my hope that if you are even close to feeling what Haley is feeling, that we can give you meaningful tools to "show you how."
Thinking and Behavior
This class is designed around the strong belief that thinking comes before behavior. The obvious idea behind this notion is a belief in any new information leads to new and different behaviors. If, for example, you believe that 2+3 = 6 you will always do math wrong when these numbers come to play. Once you learn of your false belief you will have better math skills.
A dilemma that arises with this class is, should we focus the class on "knowledge" and simply ignore behavior? The answer is "No". Experiences you have can reinforce your beliefs. If you find a behavior of yours is successful you will likely engage in it again. And, therefore, if you are willing to practice "other" behaviors (other than your usual anger behaviors) you can see that those alternative behaviors not only work, but also have less negative side effects and outcomes, and therefore actually work better.
In terms of behaviors, humans and non-human typically make loud sounds, attempt to look physically larger, bare their teeth, and stare when angry. In its rawest form anger results in a behavioral pattern designed to warn aggressors to stop their threatening behavior. Let's face it, anger may work for you (in the moment) but it doesn't make your life better or any happier.
Another basic belief of this class is that people are seeking pleasure, happiness, peace comfort and satisfaction. How, when, and where in life you find your happiness is a significant part of your life's journey. Frankly, we know that the primary reason most people fail to fix their anger problem is because they are trying so hard to change how other people behave instead of trying to change their own behavior. Hopefully this class will help your journey along . . . at least a little . . . by getting some of the barriers out of the way!
Frankly, we know that the primary reason most people fail to fix their anger problem is because they are trying so hard to change how other people behave instead of trying to change their own behavior.
Changing our Behaviors
Let's be honest, it is not easy for people to change their behaviors. I know many people who want to change "something" about themselves. Joanne wants to stop biting her fingernails. Brad wants to quit smoking. Larry hates it that he started drinking again. Ann wants to stop spending so much money. Tina wants to start a regular exercise routine. Rick wants to cut sugar and carbohydrates out of his diet and Jennifer simply wants to eat less. Massive research has been done on the subject of behavior change and one thing we know for sure is that it does not come easy.
Why is it so hard to change behavior? Wouldn't it be nice if the answer was simple? We do know several of the pieces that need to be in place in order to change. There are six key ingredients necessary for real change and these are:
1) Motivation,
2) Learning new information,
3) Unlearning myths,
4) Insight which affect our attitudes, values and beliefs,
5) Skills and,
6) Practice.
Each of these are key ingredients necessary for real change. If you take a moment and look at each of the ingredients listed in the previous sentence you will see that four of the six occur in your head. This means that the power to change is mostly about what is in your head - the way you think about anger. However, it is clear that the likelihood of real, substantial and meaningful behavior change is increased if the person involved will practice their new skills.
If you take a moment and look at each of the ingredients listed in the previous sentence you will see that four of the six occur in your head.
1) Motivation. If you are smoking cigarettes and are not motivated to stop, then it is pretty clear that the smoking behaviors will continue. The same holds true for dieting, shopping, alcohol consumption, exercising, and, yes, anger too. Frankly, if you:
· feel good about your anger behaviors
· feel you are behaving appropriately
· feel you did "the right thing"
· blame the other person
then you don't have genuine motivation to change your anger behaviors Believe me, I know people who, with all sincerity, believe their anger is appropriate and necessary, their duty and "right" to hit, beat up and, assault people "who say stupid things." With this kind of righteous thinking, it is unlikely that their anger and violence will stop. These people won't be seriously motivated to change until they believe their actions are wrong. The only reason they would take a class like this is because they are required to.
There are two types of motivation, internally imposed motivation and externally imposed motivation:
1) Internal motivation only comes from within you - and only you. At the risk of sounding religious, genuine motivation comes from within your soul - it comes from your heart and desires. Internal motivation is thought of as genuine motivation. Genuine motivation comes as a result of something you truly want to do and, to be genuine, it cannot be primarily driven or stimulated by any force outside of you. Genuine motivation cannot be court ordered. It cannot be imposed on you by a judge, teacher, boss, coach or family member. Genuine motivation is primarily driven by forces that come from within.
Some people change when they see the light, others when they feel the heat.
~Caroline Schoeder
2) External motivation often comes as the result of some kind of threat. A wife threatening to leave you, a boss threatening to fire you, a coach throwing you off the team or a police officer threatening to lock you up, are typical examples. Yes, a judge can tell you that you will get locked up next time an incident "like this" happens. And, yes, this kind of external force will provide a form of motivation, but it typically only lasts as long as the judge has power over you. The good news is that internal motivation is often inspired by external motivators like judges, PO's, spouses, bosses, teachers, etc.
What we know is that if someone is internally motivated then a little bit of external motivation can actually help increase the likelihood of successful behavior change. It is quite possible that your motivation to take this class is primarily externally driven. If you have no internal motivation then this class will likely be a total waste of time except that it can get the external motivator (judge, probation officer, boss or wife) off your back. On the other hand, if you have a mix of external motivation and internal motivation then I sincerely hope you search your soul and start taking this class mostly for you and less because of an external source forcing you to.
Don't get me wrong, motivation alone, even if it is genuine will not likely be enough to create change - but it is a key element. Joanne (fingernails), Brad (smoking), Larry (drinking), Ann (spending), Tina (exercise), Rick (sugar) and Jennifer (eating) are all genuinely internally motivated to change their behavior but that alone has not been enough for them.
How about you? Do you see anger as a problem in your life? Do you think you genuinely need to change how you deal with anger? When angry, are your behaviors appropriate and justified or are they truly wrong and inappropriate? If you are motivated, is your motivation primarily externally driven or is it primarily internally driven - is it genuine motivation?
3) Knowledge: A second key piece to creating behavior change is for people to have information. People need enough information to understand why they should change, they need to know what needs to change and they need to know how to change. Most people I know who are smokers are motivated to stop smoking and yet they continue to smoke. These same people do have the knowledge about why they should change and they even know what needs to change; the difficulty is that they don't know how to change their smoking behaviors. Knowledge is a critical ingredient to successful behavior change.
People who have had problems with anger need a healthy and accurate understanding about anger emotions and anger behaviors. They need to know that the word "anger" is best understood if broken into two groups: anger emotions and anger behaviors. There is an entire chapter dedicated to anger emotions and another chapter dedicated to anger behaviors. Did you realize that anger can be broken into two pieces - anger emotions and anger behaviors?
Also, in terms of knowledge, people need to know that they may not be filtering their anger in and out properly. You will read more about filtering anger; this important step will be referred to as your "anger filter." You will be shown that your "anger filter" may not be working correctly.
Most everything you read in this class will be directed at knowledge to help you rethink your anger emotions and your choices about your anger behaviors.
4) Unlearning: Closely related to education and knowledge is the notion that people need to unlearn the misinformation (the inaccurate beliefs or thinking errors) they may have. If you believe the world is flat, you will behave as if the world is flat and be fearful of falling over the edge. If you believe that 2 + 3 = 6 you will always do math wrong when adding those numbers. If you believe smoking is not harmful to your health then you will have no motivation to stop smoking.
It does not take a psychologist to realize that people engage in behaviors which are consistent with their beliefs. If a person believes that stealing is not that big of a deal, then he will steal when the right opportunity arises. Likewise, if a person believes it is okay to punch people or walls or break things when angry, then he will hit people or walls or break things when he experience the anger emotion. If a person believes he is "out of control" then he will behave as if he is out of control.
If you still believe the myth that you can't help but "lose control" when angry, then you will not only have "license" to be angry but also have no motivation to change. If you believe the only way to resolve conflict is to win, then you are going to act in a way that is pushing for a win/lose outcome. But if you are looking for something that creates a fair/fair outcome or a win/win outcome then your behavior will be different. If you believe you must "take on" each confrontation that comes your way then you will "take it on." However, if you believe that conflict is too stressful and negative then you will make choices to avoid it. If inaccurate information, or thinking errors, are not corrected then we cannot expect the behavior to be corrected either.
Another important element of unlearning has to do with habit. It is quite possible that the way you get angry, the way you respond to anger, is predictable. People develop habits; they repeat the same behaviors over and over again. If that is what they know, then that is what they do. If your anger behaviors are pretty much the same each time you get angry then you will be inclined to return to that behavior. If you are motivated to stop that kind of angering behavior, you must unlearn that habit.
Much of unlearning has to do with inaccurate beliefs and undoing habits, but it also involves examining and redirecting any misplaced attitudes, values and beliefs you may be harboring about life, people, yourself, power and control. This entire class will regularly make reference to the power behind, and effect of, your attitudes, values and beliefs.
5) Insight: Think back to when you were in school (or if you are still in school) and how you would study hard and cram for the exam. Then, after that exam is over, you would no longer need that information; you forget it and therefore don't apply it in your life. To fully absorb information is to know it. To fully understand and believe information provides insight. Insight is about putting enough pieces of a puzzle together that you can begin to see the picture - you start to "get it."
Just because you have knowledge - just because you have learned something new - does not mean you know it. Very often we hear new information but we don't necessarily believe it or fully absorb, process, assess or understand it. People can learn to repeat words to questions; however, "insight" (verses "knowledge") suggests the information is not only understood but also internalized and real to that person.
Education, accurate information and heartfelt knowledge that changes our reality and the way we perceive the world and those around us is the goal of any meaningful education program and this leads to insight. Insight about anger provides the power necessary for us to change our anger behaviors.
Insight is more than a combination of absorbing knowledge and unlearning. Insight also involves developing an understanding of why you do the things you do. It is looking past the self serving chatter that goes on in your head which helps justify your actions. Insight occurs when you are able to unite (put the puzzle pieces together) your thinking, your words and your behaviors with your personal beliefs and values. Your personal beliefs and values define your personality, your identity - who you are as a person.
Insight is critical. Insight helps you write your own rules about who you are; what you believe to be good, bad, right and wrong; insight provides you with your values. Insight provides you with the boundaries you choose to live within. A fundamental purpose of this class is to provide knowledge and insight and ultimately to have you examine your own attitudes, values and beliefs. Insight leads to change.
6) Skills: As previously stated, there is a significantly increased likelihood of real, substantial and meaningful behavior change if the person will learn and practice new skills. Again, lack of social problem-solving skills directly relates to people who have anger related problems.
It is one thing to gain new insights into your anger but it is something else entirely when it comes to knowing what to replace it with. What are the best strategies to reduce anger? How does someone stop themselves from getting angry? What are other ways to respond when you are angry? Is it possible to develop an anger plan? Having answers to questions like these results in strategy and skills which help you better respond to anger. In the world of counseling, psychology and corrections, it is critical to help clients develop new skills which guide them to new and alternative behaviors. Skills will be addressed in chapters 7 and 8 on, a) strategy and b) techniques.
7) Practice: As you will learn, the anger behaviors you already engage in are the result of lots of practice. If you are going to be changing your behavior, (Once again, I realize this decision is yours and yours alone.) then you will need to be willing to practice your new set of skills and gain new experiences.
With motivation, knowledge, insight and skills the pieces to the puzzle should be coming together. At some point you will need to decide if you are willing and motivated to change. If so, then you will need to practice your new set of skills. If there is anything missing in this class it is "practice." Frankly I absolutely hate taking classes that ask you to stop and practice along the way. For this reason you will not be burdened with practice during this class. This piece is entirely up to you! A summary sheet of strategy and techniques will be available to you at the end of this course - should you be "motivated" to practice new skills.
Repetition is the mother of all skill
Knowledge, Insight and motivation are worthless unless it is applied.
If you don't build it into your lifestyle then it won't work
Goals
What is the high level goal for this class? The goal is for you to successfully leave this class having a whole new way of thinking about anger. Secondly, for you to have several useful tools to use and practice as ways to prevent anger, avoid anger and respond to anger. You might notice that it is not a goal to try and change your behavior; that is entirely up to you.
This class will discuss:
· anger emotions,
· anger behaviors,
· anger myths,
· anger strategy and
· anger techniques.
Each chapter has objectives and concludes with an exam which measures if the objectives were met. The exam must be successfully completed in order to proceed to the following chapter. Typically the standard for successful completion is 80%.
Goals are important, but the steps used to get there (objectives) are important too. One major hope is that you spend little time memorizing and lots of time "understanding" the information you are reading. Each chapter starts with a summary of the objectives for that chapter. Hint: Pay close attention to the objectives, they will most certainly be part of the quiz that follows.
Our quizzes are never written with trick questions! Our quizzes are primarily written to assure you "understand" key points (objectives) in the chapter. Reading should not be a problem, the class is written at the fifth grade level. Secondly, a word of warning: if you try skimming through the chapters to get to the quiz, you will become quite frustrated - maybe even angry. Our quizzes are also designed to assure the chapter was read. As a matter of fact, you just finished Chapter 1. It is time for your first quiz. Let's see if you learned anything.
The Psychology of Stealing
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
~Norman Vincent Peale
(1898 - 1993)
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